| Author | Topic: do you need 7th house synastry to love deeply? |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 |  posted February 13, 2014 09:01 AM Hi guys!I have an issue with someone I ve been loving for 5 years! He s also loved me, so far, but we ve never officially been together for some reasons, distance, other long- term involvements etc. The thing is: I could never really believe he loved me as deeply as I do. And that makes me crazy, really, as much as that sometimes could really.. give up in some moments. It s really important for me to get an idea of how much he loved me/can love me! I can t give up on him, fells like, so it s ok if I just keep that feeling inside of me - I just want to find out, somehow, get the good feeling that he feels/felt the same. He told me so, by the way! But the problem is: He is an aqua with a 1st house Stellium in cap + cap ascendant. He has problems expressing his feelings, creating intimity. I always have to do that. Often seems cold, aloof, reasonal decisions, a bit self centred etc Very hard for me! Also he says, obviously, seems to him like he can t love that deep in general, at least not the way I handle feelings (8th house moon in aries, relationship- oriented. What my problem is, he obviously needs a cancer (DC ruler moon in pisces, 2nd house), someone who gives him security, follows him. And I have no cancer in my chart, except for neptune and uranus in 4th. I have lots of taurus in my chart and 9th house stellium (he has a jupiter opposition on his DC ruler, does that count?). Our configurations: So my problem: I put no planets in his relationship houses, or in his 7th, and thus can give him no "cancer" feeling, to complete him. That makes me crazy, because if I knew I could complete him, it would give me a secure feeling, given the fact that he often can t express his feelings. - my venus= my MC ruler on his IC I know i should just trust my intuition. But as we have lots of squares in general, plenty of squares, I often feel like I would react differently in a situation and so everything depends on trust, which is sometimes hard for me. IP: Logged |
| Mystic Melody Moderator Posts: 657 |  posted February 13, 2014 11:21 AM I can't answer this properly but when you said that an astrologer would say there is no chance with that amount of squares, I had to respond just to say that I don't think that is accurate. I'm not a professional astrologer but I would call myself an advanced student and as a Libra I have focused a lot of my research on synastry and composite. Over 60% of what I have read claim that squares are important synastry aspects. They are soul-mate aspects and growth aspects. The 40% that I've read that focus on trines and conjunctions only are usually more beginner type astro articles. The best I've heard it explained would be that ALL CONNECTIONS are meaningful. In my opinion, the type of angle (square or trine etc) describes the flavor of the connection. A square will be a strong connection if it is a close degree... but the flavor of your association may or may not be too difficult to handle. The more connections, the better though. Then it is just a matter of how maturely the two of you handle them. In all the study I've done, the only answer I've found is that only time will tell if you are the correct ever changing flavor for one another for life. I guess progressions and the aspects they make to one another can give you a picture of whether more and more connections keep replacing the angles that move out of aspect in time... but I'm just starting to understand all of that. Be yourself and be aware of yourself and be aware of your partner and be kind. That's really all you can do. And enjoy the good times and appreciate them. IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 13, 2014 02:32 PM Thalia you so much  in fact, that s what i m thinking. Over all These 4 years we ve Been affectionate and i ve grown so much through him it s unbelievable. I know this is because of all the squares. I Thank god that i was able to Grow so much and experience this with hin. You Re so right. However, two "Professional" astrologers told me this is crap etc etc and just believing in them made ne feel Bad. Hiwever, they haven t been right so far! The true reason why we ve split up after the 4 years: he s 10 years younger than me ( i m 33). I ve Been in a long Term commitment and we have both Not dared to Break it, a child being involved. You See!  complicated Stuff. So i also think that Way in terms of attraction? You think he could love me that deeply of i could have complelented him eben eWithout planets in the 7thhouse? Just from the synastry? IP: Logged |
| Lotis White Knowflake Posts: 1436 | posted February 13, 2014 07:08 PM There are several ways to connect with someone's 7th house that don't involve the typical 'your planets in his 7th house scenario'. In your have no planet in his 7th house, planets in the sign of his 7th house ruler Moon in Pisces will suffice. If you have no Pisces planets, a strong Neptune or Moon in your chart will also suffice. Examples, Neptune conjunct Sun or Moon in the 1st house. If you have no planets in either Cancer or Pisces, having the sign associated with the HOUSE of his Dsc ruler will help with attraction. This is not as strong as a matching his Dsc signs of his 7th house and it's ruler, but it is still effective. So yes, your Taurus planets will attract him. It's also true that aspects to his 7th house ruler will have an impact on his taste (similar to how planets actually in his 7th house will). So Jupiter opposite his 7th house ruler is similar to Jupiter in the 7th house and will attract him the Jupiter/Sag/9th house types of people. The tighter the aspect the more powerful the connection. This type of attraction can be quite powerful because planets are more concentrated versions of the sign that they ruler. Another thing you could look at is his secondary 7th house... If a person has a Cancer Dsc, they can be attracted to their Moon position (sign/house), and Cancer planets, in others. Or/and they can be attracted to the symbolism of their 4th house. The 'Cancer' house. A Cancer Dsc means they are looking for a partner that gives them comfort, emotional security, and a sense of belonging... And planets in the 4th house via synastry mirrors the type of vibe they are looking for in a relationship. The house ruled by the sign on the Dsc works like a 'secondary 7th' house, and people are often attracted to those who put planets in these houses. People with Cancer Dsc may often be attracted to their own 4th house symbolism. Your Venus on his Ic is a serious plus for his attraction to you. What sign is on his Ic? If it's Aries or Taurus this is a good sign for you (it matches your Taurus Stellium, or your Aries Moon). Any planets that you put in his 4th house will be a plus in terms of you attracting him. Because even if you don't have Cancer planets, you'd be able to give him that supportive/comforting type vibe his is looking for by filling up his 4th house via synastry. And, he will be attracted to the personality characteristics symbolized by his 4th house, and its ruler, as well as any planets he may have in the 4th house. For example, Uranus in the 4th house would attract him to Aquarius/Uranus/11th house types if he has a Cancer Dsc (it sounds odd but this is how the symbolism seems to work). Check the sign and house position of his 4th house ruler as well. This will shed even more light onto his attraction pattern. Also, what his feminine significators are doing in his char will matter also. Not just by sign but also by their house position and how they are aspected. The positions of Moon, Venus, and Neptune will shed light on what type of behavior he's attracted to on women. The Moon and Venus are particularly strong in this way. His Moon in the 2nd house (apart from the fact that it's his 7th house ruler) is a very good sign for you. In terms of womens roles The Moon is the vulnerable girl a guy wants to protect, Venus is the fair beauty the he goes wild for, Neptune is ethereal glamour ideal that enchants him Venus in particular represents women as a 'love interest' (the Moon is more about the wife/mother imprint). And I have noticed the you can find the 'secondary house' of Venus just like you can with the Dsc for men. For women you can find the 'secondary house' of Mars. It goes like this... If a male has Venus in Capricorn we'd look at his 10th house symbolism for more detail on what he looks for in a women as a love interest. Capricorn traditionally rules the 10th house. Such a guy is looking for a Capricorn type lady, OR a lady that matches the symbolism of his 10th house, because he is searching for that type of stimulation in a relationship (influences his reputation, attracts his respect). I've previously done a few threads on this topic, if you're interested. Here's the links. SYNASTRY OF ATTRACTION: WHY IT DOES OR DOESNT WORK http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/216505.html Masculine/Feminine Ideals
. Secondary and primary
more detail http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/211116.html IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 01:58 AM Wow i ve followed some of your Threads and now you re answering me His jupiter in 8th conjuncts his dc ruler 0 deg His moon: dc ruler Sextiles my sun 1 deg His jupiter trines my sun 1 deg His ic is in taurus and my venus exactly conjuncts it My moon squares his complete cap stellium by 1-2 degree, so ac mars venus nep uran My venus and mars are taurus and aspect his ven mars Most of his planets fall in my 5th, his sun in my 6th, his moon in my 7th, all very much aspectd. No Wonder i m drawn to him but why is it so much Mrd than sexual? It s so psychic archetypical Dreams etc. And all like family as if i could feel the 4 th house synastry! No Chance to let him go he Lives weithin me IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 02:06 AM My eros on his moon his eros on my dc Composite 5th house sun con moon 0deg in pisces 4th house venus conjunct mars 2 deg Pi Venus widely conjunct sun His natal moon on the ven mars conjunction IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 04:15 AM His ic taurus: he has his venus in cap ( he s drawn to older Partners?) in the 1st house ( my Aires moon) Dies his close natal moon conjunction to the composite venus mars in 4 count? IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 06:13 AM By the Way i have no strong neptune of moon in my chart only an aspect figure moon neptune pluto all connected. Perhaps he feels that with my moon closely aspecting his stellium? IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 06:13 AM And a neptune dc IP: Logged |
| Lotis White Knowflake Posts: 1436 | posted February 14, 2014 06:42 AM quote:Originally posted by elise11: Hi elise11, Everything that you have reported does indicate does indicated that he would have been quite attracted to you. As an astrologer, attraction itself is all I'm really able to ascertain. I don't know of any astrological way to tell how deep someone's love for another could be, and unfortunately I can't look into his mind and tell what he's been thinking. I understand the maybe all you really want is some closure now that he has moved on. Maybe he did feel the lack of 7th house activation, or maybe he didn't. You see, each person is different and the react to their own charts in unique ways. Different people seem to latch on to different parts of their attraction pattern. Some people are actually more attracted to their secondary 7th house symbolism then their original 7th house symbolism. Some people are the reverse, and are more attracted to their original 7th house symbolism, then their secondary 7th house symbolism. Some people are more attracted to the sign on the cusp of the 7th house (or secondary 7th house), while others are more attracted to the sign of the ruler of their 7th house (in his case it would be Cancer vs Pisces and/or Taurus Vs Capricorn). Still others will be most attracted to the sign ruled by a planet in their 7th house (or secondary 7th house). Like having Pluto in the 7th and been drawn to Scorpios. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that different people will prioritize different parts of their attraction pattern for themselves within their own minds. And I have no way of knowing which parts of his pattern your Aqua has prioritized for himself, and what he has been basing his decisions on. I can only gather that judging by the synastry there was an attraction. However for whatever personal reason he has chosen a different path for himself. To be honest, I think the best thing you can really do is respect that and move on. IP: Logged |
| elise11 Newflake Posts: 8 | posted February 14, 2014 09:42 AM Wow! You Don t know how much i appreciate you spending your Time on me and giving me advice! I ve Been suffering so long because of this. He almost always has cancer " best Friends" (girls) so he obviosly needs the Energy but without falling for them. He s told me she given him a nurturing Feeling, the girlfriend, but that it s Not as strong as it has Been with me but he loves her. He Said with me it felt Even more nurturing and he Liked me bring cheeky and spontaneus, which she is Not IP: Logged |
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